LionHeart
(Main title in all caps)
As I am sitting here on this sunny afternoon in September of 2021, on the big island of Hawaii, my beloved husband Bill has been in a long term care hospital for 3 years and 7 months. He is a 62 year old man with Alzheimers who now functions like a 6 month old infant. Even his feet are rounded and smooth on the soles like a baby’s, because he is no longer able to walk. Over the past 7 years I have witnessed and wrestled with his reverse aging a la Benjamin Button(a movie about someone born old who dies young). I know there will be a day when his mortal brain will age backwards to zero, and he will be received into his Father’s arms, where his deep rich laugh will be matched by his Savior’s.
Because if there is one thing Bill was about, it was joy. It was not the joy of someone who was born under a lucky star, or always got it right, or of a man that felt he had life by the tail. No, it was the joy of someone who anchored their soul in the eternal. That was where his lion heart came from.
I am telling our story and Bill’s story to celebrate the gift he was and still is to me because of how he lived, and how we all live in chronos (man’s time) and kairos (God’s time) simultaneously. Our story may start out sounding like a romantic comedy, but there are definitely dark chapters that would not make it onto the Hallmark Channel. Some parts do not have a soul satisfying resolution to them at the time of this writing, and some parts do. This is a story about love, grief, loss, faith and what I’ve come to understand as ultimate redemption. I believe I would not have been given the ability to write this if I had not gone through it, and gained so much from the joy and the pain.
Lately, I have been doing a deep dive into the writing of Madeleine L’Engle. I was familiar with her children’s book “A Wrinkle in Time” but I have come to discover that she wrote many, many fiction and non fiction books with a skillful hand and a robust and relatable faith. Reading her writing is like going into a store for a candy bar and finding a multicourse meal with all the trimmings. I am currently reading a book about her life called “A Light so Lovely” where she is quoted as saying: “ I had to write. I had no choice in the matter. It was not up to me to say I would stop, because I could not…it’s easy to say you’re a writer when things are going well. When the decision is made in the abyss, then it is quite clear that it is not one’s own decision at all.” She was called by a power beyond herself. Thank you, Madeleine, even though you are in heaven, your writing continues to mentor me.
My writing started out as blog and Facebook posts that started after the trial by fire of getting a 58 year-old man into long term care. (more about that later) It felt like writing was my therapy/therapist. An idea or a few sentences would arrive unsolicited to my brain special delivery. I would sit down to write, and 300-400 words would flow onto the page and then a closing would show up like a cherry on top. It helped me, and it seemed to help others. Part of the intent of this book is to take those posts and use them like colorful quilt pieces and incorporate them into the larger story of our life together.
Other quilt pieces come from the story Bill and I wrote together to put with our wedding music CD that we gave to all our guests. My husband Bill and I are/were creative people, so we each chose 7 songs to burn onto a CD with the art from our invitation we created on the front (see page?) When I looked at the songs we each chose, I realized they fit together to be a pretty good narrative of our “whirlwind romance”. Now, looking back 14+ years later, I see how prescient the lyrics of some of these songs were. I think we both knew some things before we knew them about central themes of our two becoming one adventure.
Here is the story of how we met:
Let me set the stage about me. I was a unicorn. This means I was a single woman in her mid forties ,never married, no kids, who was relatively happy and healthy. (Well, you can be the judge as you read the rest of this story) I was a “good girl” if you know what I mean. Now this sounds like bragging, but in truth, I had the kind of support from family and community which provided enough positive peer pressure to make this relatively easy to do. That, combined with a healthy streak of independence, perfectionism and being in a career filled with mostly women (school based counseling) brought me to my early 40’s with a full life but no partner. (I know there are other unicorns out there, and I wanted you to know you are not alone.)
I asked myself if I was ready to let go of that hope of marriage. It turns out the answer was “No”. I joined a singles group-they had a dance. As usual, I had already made lots of friends, all of them women. I ran into a teacher I knew and she asked me a strange question:
“Do you want to dance at this dance?”
“Yes” I said. “Obviously,” I thought “but noone’s asking”.
“Then here’s what you do,” she replied,” Don’t stand in a corner with your circle of girlfriends. Few men are brave enough to run the risk of walking up to ask you and getting shot down in front of a bunch of women. Instead, stand alone at the edge of the dance floor, smiling, tapping your foot to the music, having a great time. I can guarantee someone will ask you to dance.”
And sure enough, she was right. It is some of the best advice I’ve ever received, and seems to apply to a lot of other areas of life as well.
So began my trajectory of standing alone, so to speak. I stopped waiting for the UPS guy that delivered to my home to propose, and admitted to the world at large, (Northern CA specifically) that yes, I would like to dance.
I “danced” with a few men, one even close to marriage, and got my heart broken and bruised a few times. I took some time to heal, and then with trepidation, I got back out there, so to speak.
I decided to approach dating like applying for a job while currently employed. (I know, so romantic). I joined a website. I met a few very nice men that weren’t for me. I learned an important lesson that some women learn much earlier: You are not being wronged by someone just because they does not fit your ideal. You can appreciate them for who they are and let them move on to the person they fit with. Getting angry at them for not being your “match” makes as much sense as getting mad at an apple for not being an orange. And we learn something from everyone we meet.
Bill and I had been on the same site for a about a year before our profiles were “sent” to each other as 99% match.
Here’s how we told the story of us on our Wedding Music CD
Lisa’s Version
These days, if you get to your forties, and you are single, there’s some trepidation about whether you are ever going to meet “the right person”. Caution and calluses build up from past hurts, and you wonder if it’s worth trying ‘one more time’. I heard the song: “I Hope You Dance” by Leann Womack on the radio around that time, and I thought it really got to the heart of things, expressing so eloquently that nothing ventured truly is nothing gained. My venture was to block out 45 minutes from my schedule for a coffee date on Dec 27, 2006 to see if this artist/teacher/counselor/minister with the online name of “Pastor Wild” might be someone I’d want to dance with. (P.S. The coffee date turned into four hours of conversation and dinner.)
Bill’s Version
When your life begins to look like a baseball score, one fowl(one estranged son), two strikes(two failed marriages); you know, or get the feeling, that this is your last time at bat, before they bench you. Life becomes more of a fight, one that must be won. And I don’t even like baseball. When Lisa sent me her profile on a Christian singles’ site, I was about to give up on computer dating. It was the week between Christmas and New Years. I didn’t feel it was even worth taking out the tree. So Santa and I decided that instead of a new toy for Christmas, I’d booked a dating marathon. Lisa was Monday, first of six “last dates”. My only hope was that at least she could dance.
Lisa
Yes, that’s right, Bill had booked a date with a different woman for every night of that week, which he did tell me right off, in his straightforward, ever so charming way. Uncharacteristically, that did not send me running for the door.
I would learn later that Bill truly liked and appreciated women of all ages. He loved connecting with all people, so it’s not a surprise that five other women agreed to go out with him. I do not think it was so much a macho ego thing on his part, but a desire and motivation for connection.
Our first date was at a Starbucks in a Foodcourt at a mall equidistant from our houses (yes I really was playing it safe). Fifteen minutes into our conversation, I breathed an inward sign of relief – here was a friend. Bill was not someone I had to pretend to be interested in talking to, but really WAS interested in talking to.
At the end of our date (the restaurant was closing and I had to pick my roommate up at the airport) Bill kissed me on the cheek and said “ You have my number, give me a call if you like.” I was a little nonplussed. If ever I felt sure that I would be asked on a second date then and there, this was the time. I would later find out that Bill sensed my cautiousness, and wanted to let me make the choice. Kinda smart.
So I went home and stewed for a few days and then called him for a second date.
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance… I hope you dance…
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance,
Livin’ might mean takin’ chances, but they’re worth takin’,
Lovin’ might be a mistake, but it’s worth makin’,
Don’t let some Hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin’ out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance… I hope you dance.
I hope you dance… I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder where those years have gone.)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
Dance… I hope you dance.
I hope you dance… I hope you dance.
I hope you dance… I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder where those years have gone.)
-I Hope You Dance, Sung by LeAnn Womack, Lyrics by XXX
Bill’s Full Dance Card
Book Subtitle
(Capitalize first letter of each word in subtitle)
A good subtitle must provide deeper insight into the topic so that readers can understand exactly what is in the book. For example, a main title like “Raising Wonderfully Tough Kids in a Tough World” might benefit from a subtitle like, “How to Strengthen Your Child’s Mindset and Prepare Them for Life.”
By
(Insert Author Name)
© Copyright (Insert year of publishing) by (Insert author or publisher name) – All rights reserved.
It is not legal to reproduce, duplicate, or transmit any part of this document in either electronic means or printed format. Recording of this publication is strictly prohibited.
This book is dedicated to:
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This section is optional and often personal in nature. Mention and thank one person or a group of people who are close to you or have supported you in your life. They can be family members, close friends, inspirational figures, etc.
Table of Contents
PART I: Insert Title of the Part (Style: Heading 1)
Chapter One: Insert Chapter Title Here (Style: Heading 2)
Chapter Two: Insert Chapter Title Here
PART II: Insert Title of the Part
Chapter Three: Insert Chapter Title
Chapter Four: Insert Chapter Title
Chapter Five: Insert Chapter Title
Introduction
Insert content here…
To write a good introduction, follow these steps:
- Congratulate the reader on purchasing the book. (This is optional and only for the eBook version!)
- Introduce the topic of your book.
- Clarify the problem that the book will solve. You already know who your target audience is, so state the problem the reader has.
- Provide snippets of a solution(s) that the book offers. (For example, “This book will teach you how to bring up kids who are mentally resilient and …”)
- Highlight your credentials as an authority on the subject. If possible, use a personal/professional story to show how you gained your expertise. (For example, did you learn by studying child psychology for decades? Did you learn from being part of a large family of 12 kids and then ended up raising 10 children of your own?)
- Highlight the benefits of the book. (For example, “This information will help your children grow up confident and able to …”)
- Provide proof of the book’s benefits. State how the information has helped either you or someone else.
- Warn the reader not to wait too long after buying the book. Gently remind them not to extend their problem. (For example, if they have young kids, the earlier they start using this information the better.)
- Give a call to action to get them to read the book!!
PART I: Insert Title of the Part (Style: Heading 1)
(Capitalize first letter of each word in part title)
Begin a new part here…
For long books that cover a lot of detailed information, structure your book into parts. Dividing your book into parts is great for writing on historical or conceptual topics. Your book can have as many parts as necessary, with each part covering a different theme. However, all parts must point to the overall book title.
For presenting information in a step-by-step manner, arrange your parts in a logical sequence.
Part I of a book is generally introductory where you are essentially covering the basics of the topic. Sticking with the example used in the book title section, suitable title options for Part I include “Life of Parenting” or “Learning to be a Parent.”
Once you have decided on topics and content for each part of the book, create a list of relevant chapter titles. Take the time to plan out the whole book. Do research on the topic to know what to cover, what to leave out, and how to arrange your content so that it flows well.
You can have as many chapters as you want in a part. It is also okay if some parts have more chapters than others. Chapter lengths vary considerably as it’s difficult to maintain the same length for each chapter differing in content.
Chapter One: Insert Chapter Title Here
(Style: Heading 2)
(Capitalize first letter of each word in chapter titles)
Begin a new chapter here…
The first chapter introduces the topic to the reader. As an example, the title of the example book’s first chapter is “Understanding Your Child.” Start off providing a brief overview of what the chapter contains and then transition smoothly into your supporting points. Try to keep the language simple and understandable to generate rapport with the reader and keep them engaged.
One way to generate rapport with readers is to start your chapter with a quote from a famous person. Make sure the quote is relevant to the chapter topic so that you can use it later to illustrate the key points made in the chapter. If you begin the first chapter with a quote, stay consistent and begin every successive chapter with a quote.
Alternatively, you can begin a chapter with “Did you know …?” Follow up with some statistics that most people may not be aware of. You can apply this technique in different sections of your book and not just in your introduction. Asking the reader questions (sometimes rhetorical) is a good way to keep them engaged and often entertained.
Another opening strategy is to ask the reader to imagine a specific situation. For example, “Imagine a world where every single child is trained to …” The goal here is to draw the reader in from the get-go and hold their attention.
The key to starting each chapter is to do so consistently throughout.
Insert Subheading 1 (Style: Heading 3)
(Capitalize first letter of each word in subheadings.)
Insert content here…
Divide your chapter into sections with relevant subheadings. Subheadings guide the reader through the chapter and help in showing how you perceive the topic. Always have more than one subheading per chapter and make sure they are always related to your chapter topic.
When researching content for a particular chapter, any key highlights you come across can act as a subheading. For example, Subheading 1 can be “How Well Do You Know Your Child?” You can use a real-life story and talk about the importance of knowing your child.
Insert Subheading 2
Insert content here…
An example for Subheading 2 is “Identifying Your Child’s Strengths and Weaknesses.” This chapter would talk about strategies and steps that are used to study a child’s personality.
Chapter Summary/Key Takeaways
Insert content here…
Remind the reader of the key points of the chapter in a short paragraph. Alternatively, use a bullet point format as shown below:
- If you want to help your child get ahead in life, learn their strengths and weaknesses.
- Point 2 from your text…
- Point 3 from your text…
- etc.
In the next chapter, you will learn…
To logically transition smoothly from chapter to chapter, inform the reader of what is coming next. When ending your chapter, link the next chapter’s information with what has already been learned.
Chapter Two: Insert Chapter Title Here
Begin a new chapter here…
In the second chapter, go a little deeper into the book’s topic. As an example, the title of the example book’s second chapter is “Parenting in Today’s World.” Start off by providing a brief overview of what the chapter contains and transition smoothly into your supporting points. Try to keep the language simple and understandable to generate a rapport with the reader and keep them engaged.
Insert Subheading 1
Insert content here…
Divide your chapter into sections with relevant subheadings. Subheadings guide the reader through the chapter and help in showing how you perceive the topic. Always have more than one subheading per chapter and make sure they are related to your chapter topic.
When researching content for a particular chapter, any key highlights you come across can act as a subheading. For example, Subheading 1 for this chapter is “It’s a Tough, Tough World.” You can talk about how society has changed, why it’s so hard to raise kids in today’s world, etc.
Insert Subheading 2
Insert content here…
For Subheading 2, use a subtitle such as “Why Today’s Kids Can’t Cope.” This subsection explains the differences between traditional and modern parenting styles, the role that technology has played in parenting, the decline in value systems, etc.
Chapter Summary/Key Takeaways
Insert content here…
Remind the reader of the key points of the chapter in a short paragraph. Alternatively, use a bullet point format as shown below:
- The TV and other digital devices today play the role of the parent in the home.
- Point 2 from your text…
- Point 3 from your text…
- etc.
In the next chapter, you will learn…
To logically transition smoothly from chapter to chapter, inform the reader of what is coming next. When ending your chapter, link the next chapter’s information with what has already been learned.
PART II: Insert Title of the Part
Use successive parts to cover the more detailed or complex areas of the book’s topic. Since Part I defined the topic/problem, consider using this section to provide solutions. In this case, a suitable example title is “Identifying the Right Parenting Strategies” or “Bulletproofing Your Child’s Mindset.” Don’t forget that the chapters in this part of the book must align with the Part title you have chosen.
Chapter Three: Insert Chapter Title
Begin a new chapter here…
For the purposes of this example, this chapter’s title is “Developing a Bulletproof Mindset.” This means that this chapter will be dealing with strategies for strengthening the mind. Start off by providing a brief overview of the information contained in the chapter and then transition smoothly into your supporting points. Try to keep the language simple and understandable to generate a rapport with the reader and keep them engaged.
Insert Subheading 1
Insert content here…
Divide your chapter into sections with relevant subheadings. Subheadings guide the reader through the chapter and help in showing how you perceive the topic. Always have more than one subheading per chapter and make sure they are always related to your chapter topic.
When researching content for a particular chapter, any key highlights you come across can act as a subheading. For example, Subheading 1 for this chapter is “Mental Discipline.” Offer the reader practical strategies for training a child to develop fortitude, awareness, etc.
Insert Subheading 2
Insert content here…
For Subheading 2, use a subtitle such as “Self-Confidence.” This example chapter provides practical steps and tips on how to train a child to become courageous, self-confident, etc.
Chapter Summary/Key Takeaways
Insert content here…
Remind the reader of the key points of the chapter in a short paragraph. Alternatively, use a bullet point format as shown below:
- Developing mental resilience is an important part of achieving success in life.
- Point 2 from your text…
- Point 3 from your text…
- etc.
In the next chapter, you will learn…
To logically transition smoothly from chapter to chapter, inform the reader of what is coming next. When ending your chapter, link the next chapter’s information with what has already been learned.
Chapter Four: Insert Chapter Title
Begin a new chapter here…
For the purposes of this example, this chapter’s title is “Establishing Social Values.” It covers the social/community aspect of a child’s wellbeing. Start off by providing a brief overview of the information contained in the chapter and then transition smoothly into your supporting points. Try to keep the language simple and understandable to generate rapport with the reader and keep them engaged.
Insert Subheading 1
Insert content here…
Divide your chapter into sections with relevant subheadings. Subheadings guide the reader through the chapter and help in showing how you perceive the topic. Always have more than one subheading per chapter and make sure they are related to your chapter topic.
When researching content for a particular chapter, any key highlights you come across can act as a subheading. For example, Subheading 1 for this chapter is “Getting Along with Others.” Offer the reader practical strategies for teaching their child how to coexist with others, why it’s important to do so, etc.
Insert Subheading 2
Insert content here…
For Subheading 2, use a subtitle such as “Developing Emotional Intelligence.” It provides practical steps on how to help a child to read social cues, talk about any negative emotions, etc.
Chapter Summary/Key Takeaways
Insert content here…
Remind the reader of the key points of the chapter in a short paragraph. Alternatively, use a bullet point format as shown below:
- Instilling social values and ethics in a child will help them integrate well into society.
- Point 2 from your text…
- Point 3 from your text…
- etc.
In the next chapter, you will learn…
To logically transition smoothly from chapter to chapter, inform the reader of what is coming next. When ending your chapter with a paragraph, link the next chapter’s information with what has already been learned.
Chapter Five: Insert Chapter Title
Begin a new chapter here…
Assuming this is your last chapter in the book, create a title that is somewhat forward-looking, for example, “Today’s Kids, Future Parents.” Here, present an outlook of how the strategies in this book, as well as new scientific insights, will shape the future. Also discuss what the world will look like if kids are not taught how to strengthen their mindset.
Insert Subheading 1
Insert content here…
Divide your chapter into sections with relevant subheadings. Subheadings guide the reader through the chapter and help in showing how you perceive the topic. Always have more than one subheading per chapter and make sure they are related to your chapter topic.
When researching content for a particular chapter, any key highlights you come across can act as a subheading. For example, Subheading 1 for this chapter is “Adapting to Change,” where you then discuss the importance of developing adaptability and flexibility, etc.
Insert Subheading 2
Insert content here…
For Subheading 2, use a subtitle such as “Leaving a Legacy.” Here, wrap everything up by discussing how all the strategies provided will ensure a better tomorrow for all.
Chapter Summary/Key Takeaways
Insert content here…
Remind the reader of the key points of the chapter in a short paragraph. Alternatively, use a bullet point format as shown below:
- In the future, survival will depend on the ability to adapt to a fast-changing environment.
- Point 2 from your text…
- Point 3 from your text…
- etc.
Epilogue/Conclusion
Insert content here…
Keep it short and sweet. Mention the key highlights of the book and the action steps to solve the problems. Remind the reader of how taking the said action steps will benefit them.
Bibliography
Below is an example of a list of works cited using APA style. Arrange your list of references alphabetically.
When citing books, use the format as shown in the following examples, applying Bibliography style to the format:
Author’s last name, first initial or initials. (Publication date). Book title. Additional information. City, State of publication: Publishing company.
King, S. (2000). On writing: A memoir of the craft. New York, NY: Pocket Books.
When citing online resources, use the format as shown in the following examples:
For internet documents
Author’s last name, first initial or initials. (Date of publication). Title of article. Title of work. Retrieved from full URL
Amir, N. (2018, October 17). 4 tips for staying on track with your writing. Write Nonfiction now!Retrieved from http://writenonfictionnow.com/tips-staying-track-writing/
For online periodicals
Author’s last name, first initial or initials. (Date of publication). Title of article. Title of Periodical, volume and page numbers. Retrieved from full URL
Brewer, R. L. (2018, October 4). How to write better titles: 7 effective title tips for books, articles, and conference sessions. Writer’s Digest. Retrieved from http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/how-to-write-better-titles
When citing magazines, use the format as shown in the following examples:
For magazines and periodicals
Author’s last name, first initial or initials. (Publication date). Article title. Title of periodical, volume number (issue number if available), inclusive pages.
McPhee, J. (2013, April 29). Draft No. 4. New Yorker, 89, 20-25.
For more details and guidelines, consult the APA Publication Manual.
Acknowledgments
Insert content here…
Thank the key people who inspired you and helped you throughout the process of writing and publishing your work. This is somewhat similar to the dedication page, except here you can elaborate and include more people.
About the Author
Insert content here…
Write this page in the third person. (For example, use “the author” or your name, not “I.”) The information within establishes your credibility with readers. Avoid being too wordy. Simply provide your background and expertise on the topic of your book, as well as other information that will build trust. For example:
- Professional and personal achievements related to the topic at hand
- List of other published works and a link to your website
- Educational background
- Mention other notable experts in the field that you have worked with
- Your area of residence, family status, hobbies, etc.
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